::29.11.03::
CASAMENTOS.
Hoje é um dia infeliz para se casar. E ainda assim vão. E eu estarei lá, eu acho, assistindo o primeiro de uma série. Segunda leva de casamentos, mais amigos e parentes se casando, prima ficando grávida, essas coisas todas. Teoricamente, um grande clima de felicidade deveria pairar no ar. Mas nem. E não é rancor nem nada. Simplesmente, como ouvi Chet dizer, isso não é pra mim.
But not for me
Gershwin
They're writing songs of love - but not for me
A lucky star's above - but not for me
With love to lead the way
I've found more clouds of gray
Than any Russian play - can guarantee
I was a fool to fall - and get this way
Ah ho alas and awe - so lackaday
Although I can't dismiss
The memory of her kiss
I guess she's not - she's not for me
:: Marcia Furriel 2:46 p.m.
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"...[R]eturning to the Red Drum for sets, to hear Bird, whom I saw distinctly digging Mardou several times also myself directly into my eye looking to search if I was really the great writer I thought myself to be as if he knew my thoughts and ambitions or remembered me from other night clubs and other coasts, other Chicagos--not a challenging look but the king and founder of the bop generation at least the sound of it in digging his audience digging his eyes, the secret eyes him-watching, as he just pursed his lips and let great lungs and immortal fingers work, his eyes separate and interested and humane, the kindest jazz musician there could be while being and therefore naturally the greatest--watching Mardou and me in the infancy of our love and probably wondering why, or knowing it wouldn't last, or seeing who it was would be hurt, as now, obviously, but not quite yet, it was Mardou whose eyes were shining in my direction, though I could not have known and now do not definitely know--except the one fact, on the way home, the session over the beer in the Mask drunk we went home on the Third Street bus sadly through night and throb knock neons and when I suddenly leaned over her to shout something further (in her secret self as later confessed) her heart leapt to smell the "sweetness of my breath" (quote) and suddenly she almost loved me--"
DO LIVRO
The Subterraneans
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