::28.1.04::
Psycho Therapy Psycho Therapy Psycho Therapy
That's what they wanna give me
Acordei cedo demais hoje. Eu tenho esse problema, de tolerância zero com a minha pessoa, pro bem ou pro mal. Nem eu conseguia mais me aturar. Nem eu conseguia mais ficar dormindo, nem eu consegui mais ficar na casa da minha avó vendo Ana Maria Baga (sem comentários). De vício, já estou aqui, fazendo esforços interessantes para não me detonar nuclearmente, não ainda. Isso, meu amigo, é o que EU chamo de inferno astral. Mas passa, tudo passa. Vou pra PUC hoje, me inscrever no curso, e depois vou comprar ingressos para o tal Noites Cariocas. É sim, sou uma pequena-burguesinha que sempre esteve a fim de ir a uma festa no Morro da Urca, pela propaganda gigante que os primos mais velhos das amigas faziam, lá nos idos dos meus 13 anos. Vou arrastar a Regina comigo, certamente, e a gente vai morrer numa grana violenta. Mas valerá. Sem contar que nem tudo está perdido nessa vida: fiz as unhas ontem e lembrei do vestido LIIINDO que comprei em SP. O look já está montado, it's just waiting to happen.
E enquanto isso, porque eu sou uma pessoa calma e centrada, fico ouvindo mais Gershwin, na vã esperança...
How Long Has This Been Goin' On?
George /Ira Gershwin
'Neath the stars, at bazaars
Often I've had to caress men
Five or ten, dollars then, I'd collect from all those yes-men
Don't be sad, I must add, that they meant no more than chess-men
Darling, can't you see?
'Twas for charity?
Though these lips have made slips, it was never really serious
Who'd have thought, I'd be brought to a state that's so delirious?
I could cry salty tears
Where have I been all these years?
Little wow, tell me now
How long has this been goin' on?
There were chills up my spine
And some thrills I can't define
Listen sweet, I repeat
How long has this been goin' on?
Oh, I feel that I could melt
Into heaven I'm hurled
I know how Columbus felt
Finding another world
Kiss me once, then once more
What a dunce I was before
What a break, for heaven's sake
How long has this been goin' on?
(spoken)
Kiss me twice, once more, thrice, make it four
What a break, for heaven's sake
How long has this been goin' on?
:: Marcia Furriel 9:32 a.m.
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"...[R]eturning to the Red Drum for sets, to hear Bird, whom I saw distinctly digging Mardou several times also myself directly into my eye looking to search if I was really the great writer I thought myself to be as if he knew my thoughts and ambitions or remembered me from other night clubs and other coasts, other Chicagos--not a challenging look but the king and founder of the bop generation at least the sound of it in digging his audience digging his eyes, the secret eyes him-watching, as he just pursed his lips and let great lungs and immortal fingers work, his eyes separate and interested and humane, the kindest jazz musician there could be while being and therefore naturally the greatest--watching Mardou and me in the infancy of our love and probably wondering why, or knowing it wouldn't last, or seeing who it was would be hurt, as now, obviously, but not quite yet, it was Mardou whose eyes were shining in my direction, though I could not have known and now do not definitely know--except the one fact, on the way home, the session over the beer in the Mask drunk we went home on the Third Street bus sadly through night and throb knock neons and when I suddenly leaned over her to shout something further (in her secret self as later confessed) her heart leapt to smell the "sweetness of my breath" (quote) and suddenly she almost loved me--"
DO LIVRO
The Subterraneans
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